The Top Five Worst Cryptocurrencies of All Time

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It is time to take a look at the back pages of Coinmarketcap and have a good old laugh at some of the worst cryptocurrencies ever created. Boy have there been some stinkers. This is by no means a definitive list, but these coins have been specially selected for the abject pointlessness or sheer randomness of their worthless existence. Enjoy.

#5 42Coin

This godless coin came out in the days when anyone could come up with a coin gimmick and get volume. The gimmick is that there are only 42 of them… wow, gotta catch ‘em all.

42Coin is a useless Scrypt alt, with an atrocious client. The client was so bad for this one that it occasionally used to glitch and transform into a Peercoin client. If you wiggled your mouse it would change back. It was obviously a partly copy and paste of the Peercoin source code which somehow allowed the unexplainable and unnerving glitch to occur.

Upon its release the currency commanded ridiculous prices of over 1000 bitcoins a piece, back when bitcoin was worth 1000 dollars. Rumour has it that the coin was started and funded by a bunch of clever whales that held stock and were ready to dump on launch. The coin was indeed dumped like no tomorrow and has been dumped progressively ever since.

This coin has never done anything but decline in value, but if you are lucky enough to stumble upon a full 42coin you will still get a few thousand dollars for it today.

#4 WankCoin

WankCoin is fairly wank. This tasteless alt was conceived as a porno coin that you could fund your masturbation experiences with. It was supposedly going to be accepted as payment across all major adult entertainment websites. In other words if you felt like you needed to knock one out, you could open up your wank bank and pay for an online video.

As many predicted it didn’t become widely accepted in the adult industry, along with other sexcoins, like SexCoin, it suffered from impotence. The developers failed to realize that few people pay for online porn because there are a zillion websites like PornoTube pushing it for nothing. You can however, buy a few sex toys with it and it is accepted on a limited number of websites like Big Asses, OiledI Am Eighteen and Bang My Stepmom.

#3 NyanCoin

NyanCoin has no features whatsoever apart from a picture of a cat called Nyan flying through the air via the power of a rainbow which Nyan projects from his (beep). Needless to say it never really got off the ground.

#2 RainbowCoin

This sorry effort started life as the ill-fated TakeiCoin, which was a lame attempt to get the LGBT community on board with cryptocurrency by putting George Takei’s face on the cover. The attention seeking ex-Star Trek member didn’t see the point either and started whining and saying that he would sue the creators…so much for solidarity. After that they changed the name to RainbowCoin. It has been in decline ever since. Unsurprising, since the coin offered no innovation, and there is no need for a specialized LGBT currency because all traders are equal behind the blockchain. On its website the currency is described as ‘a coin you can be proud of’, they should feel at least somewhat ashamed of this poor tokenistic entry.

#1 VPal

How could the top spot go to anything but VPal? Its awfulness is legendary. VPal is a horrendous Asian Ripple fork complete with Chinglish instructions and a ghastly interface. If you can manage to work out how to make an account within five minutes of using it you won’t know whether to laugh or cry and will be asking yourself why on earth VPal actually exists. It is also a known scam.

When the history of cryptocurrency is written let us hope these entries are forgotten save that they embarrass us all for eternity.

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